Untitled
popelizbet:

reservoircat:

snor7ax:

l0ve-niall:

“Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words: Dear God,Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. 
I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.Love, MeredithWe put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had. Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note: Dear Meredith,Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away.Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find. I am wherever there is love. Love, God”

FUCKING SOBBING

Bless whoever did that for this little girl.

I’m not crying. Nope.


I don’t even believe in god and my eyes are all leaky. what the ever sciencing fuck is going on?

popelizbet:

reservoircat:

snor7ax:

l0ve-niall:

“Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words: 

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. 

I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had. 
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note: 
Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away.
Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find. I am wherever there is love. 

Love, God”

FUCKING SOBBING

Bless whoever did that for this little girl.

I’m not crying. Nope.

I don’t even believe in god and my eyes are all leaky. what the ever sciencing fuck is going on?

trenchcoatandfreckles:

thereal-davestrider:

katkayes:

fuckyeahdekutree:

ok so i tried to do this
AND LOOK WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED


Its like midnight but I cant stop laughing help

YEAH THATS A BRILLIANT IDEA UNTIL YOU REMEMBER THAT TOASTERS F UCKING EJECT THEIR PRECIOUS CARGO ONTO THE VOID OF DESPAIR THAT IS YOUR NASTY RATCHET ASS KITCHENETTE FLOOR

GUYS I JUST DID THIS AND MY TOASTER SET ON FIRE

trenchcoatandfreckles:

thereal-davestrider:

katkayes:

fuckyeahdekutree:

ok so i tried to do this

AND LOOK WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED

image

Its like midnight but I cant stop laughing help

YEAH THATS A BRILLIANT IDEA UNTIL YOU REMEMBER THAT TOASTERS F UCKING EJECT THEIR PRECIOUS CARGO ONTO THE VOID OF DESPAIR THAT IS YOUR NASTY RATCHET ASS KITCHENETTE FLOOR

GUYS I JUST DID THIS AND MY TOASTER SET ON FIRE

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat

scaredmilk:

Ok guys I’m re-doing this giveaway because tumblr deleted all the notes on the post. I’m really really sorry for the inconvinience

Rules:

Reblog and Like as many times as you want

You must be comfortable with giving me your information(if you win)

I will ship overseas

no giveaway blogs

If you are chosen via the random number generator, I will check your blog to make sure you aren’t a piece of shit, because shitty people dont deserve nice things.

DO NOT ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS IF YOU HAVE NOT VISITED MY FAQ. IF YOU SEND ME ANY QUESTIONS THAT ARE ALREADY CLEARLY ANSWERED IN MY FAQ I WILL IGNORE YOU.

DO NOT SEND ME YOUR ADDRESS UNLESS I HAVE SPECIFICALLY CHOSEN YOU AS A WINNER

DO NOT FOLLOW ME

Giveaway ends October 25, 2013


Have fun :3

thugkitchen:

I REALLY DON’T GIVE A DAMN that you slept through breakfast. That’s no excuse to eat cold pizza wheneverthefuck you eventually drag your ass outta bed. You’re blurring meal times, nothing wrong with that. But don’t go wait in a fucking line at some pretentious restaurant that overcharges for breakfast food. Instead, cook up this filling motherfucker and give your stomach something worth waking up for. Grab a mimosa and BRUNCH LIKE A FUCKING BOSS.


BREAKFAST TAMALE PIE


RED SAUCE:

1 ½ cups tomato sauce (don’t accidently grab pasta sauce, that would be fucking gross. This is just plain pureed tomatoes)

1 cup vegetable broth 

3 cloves of garlic

1 tablespoon chili powder

½ teaspoon cumin

½ teaspoon oregano

dash of cayenne pepper

salt to taste 


FILLING:

1 small bell pepper

1 small zucchini

1 fist sized wax potato (a red, white, or yellow potato. Like what you would use in a potato salad)

½ a medium yellow onion

1 jalapeño

2 cloves of garlic

2 teaspoons olive oil

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon cumin

1/8 teaspoon oregano

juice of half a lime

1 ½ cups cooked pinto or black beans


POLENTA CRUST:

6 cups of water

2 cups of coarsely ground cornmeal (any cornmeal that says it is for polenta is cool here, just don’t grab any quick cooking shit)

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon olive oil

 

Heat the oven to 350 degrees F. 


Combine all the ingredients for the red sauce in a medium saucepan and bring it to a simmer. Taste and adjust the seasoning howeverthefuck want. I usually add more cayenne pepper because I can hang. Turn off the heat and set the sauce aside.

Chop up the bell pepper, zucchini, potato, and onion into pieces no bigger than a bean. In a large skillet or wok, warm the oil over a medium heat and add the potato. Sauté for about 8 minutes or until the potato begins to soften up. If they start to stick to the pan, your instinct might be to add more oil but FUCK THAT. Just add some splashes of water instead. When the potatoes seem like they are on their way to being cooked, add the onions and cook them all for another 5 minutes. Now you have to multitask for a minute. Put a big pot filled with the 6 cups of water on the stove and bring it to a boil. You can forget about that shit until you hear it bubbling which will take a bit. Back to the main shit, add the bell pepper and zucchini to the skillet with the potatoes and onion. Cook for another 3-5 minutes. The potatoes should be getting soft by now. Chop up the garlic and jalapeno into small pieces and throw those in next. When you can start to smell the garlic, add the remaining spices, salt, lime juice, and beans. Stir that shit around. Now add a cup of the red sauce, stir, and taste that shit. You can add more garlic, sauce, or whateverthefuck you think it needs. Turn off the heat.


Now your big ass pot of water should be boiling. Add the salt and slowly stir in the cornmeal. Bring the heat down low so that you get a bubble coming up only once and awhile. Stir it every couple of minutes until the mixture is nice and thick, about 15-20 minutes. If it starts getting too thick but it isn’t done, just add a little more water and keep cooking. Then add the garlic powder and oil right before that polenta is done cooking. Turn off the heat.


Grab a baking dish (9”x13” or something close to that is fine) and lightly oil that fucker down so nothing will stick. Pour in about 2 ½ cups of the cooked polenta and spread that shit out as even as you can. Next, pile in the bean and potato filling but leave about a half inch free around the sides of the polenta. Pour a little more of the red sauce over the filling and cover all of that with the rest of the polenta. Cover the container with foil and bake for 20 minutes so that it all comes together like a savory tamale breakfast cake thing. Dope shit, right? Let it rest for about 5-10 minutes before cutting into it. Drizzle with the remaining red sauce and serve with avocado, cilantro, more jalapeños, salsa, tequila, whateverthefuck you are in to.


I know some of you might be looking at these directions thinkin WHOA THAT LOOKS COMPLICATED AS FUCK. Calm. Your. Shit. This is an easy dish that you can even bake the night before and just warm it up before brunch the next day. Nobody will know the goddamn difference.


Serves 6-8 people ready to brunch their asses off


We made this special for our friends over at ASOS. Be sure to check their shit out. 

I want to marry whoever runs this shit. guy, girl, astral projection… whatever.

thugkitchen:

I REALLY DON’T GIVE A DAMN that you slept through breakfast. That’s no excuse to eat cold pizza wheneverthefuck you eventually drag your ass outta bed. You’re blurring meal times, nothing wrong with that. But don’t go wait in a fucking line at some pretentious restaurant that overcharges for breakfast food. Instead, cook up this filling motherfucker and give your stomach something worth waking up for. Grab a mimosa and BRUNCH LIKE A FUCKING BOSS.

BREAKFAST TAMALE PIE

RED SAUCE:

1 ½ cups tomato sauce (don’t accidently grab pasta sauce, that would be fucking gross. This is just plain pureed tomatoes)

1 cup vegetable broth

3 cloves of garlic

1 tablespoon chili powder

½ teaspoon cumin

½ teaspoon oregano

dash of cayenne pepper

salt to taste

FILLING:

1 small bell pepper

1 small zucchini

1 fist sized wax potato (a red, white, or yellow potato. Like what you would use in a potato salad)

½ a medium yellow onion

1 jalapeño

2 cloves of garlic

2 teaspoons olive oil

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon cumin

1/8 teaspoon oregano

juice of half a lime

1 ½ cups cooked pinto or black beans

POLENTA CRUST:

6 cups of water

2 cups of coarsely ground cornmeal (any cornmeal that says it is for polenta is cool here, just don’t grab any quick cooking shit)

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon olive oil

 

Heat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Combine all the ingredients for the red sauce in a medium saucepan and bring it to a simmer. Taste and adjust the seasoning howeverthefuck want. I usually add more cayenne pepper because I can hang. Turn off the heat and set the sauce aside.

Chop up the bell pepper, zucchini, potato, and onion into pieces no bigger than a bean. In a large skillet or wok, warm the oil over a medium heat and add the potato. Sauté for about 8 minutes or until the potato begins to soften up. If they start to stick to the pan, your instinct might be to add more oil but FUCK THAT. Just add some splashes of water instead. When the potatoes seem like they are on their way to being cooked, add the onions and cook them all for another 5 minutes. Now you have to multitask for a minute. Put a big pot filled with the 6 cups of water on the stove and bring it to a boil. You can forget about that shit until you hear it bubbling which will take a bit. Back to the main shit, add the bell pepper and zucchini to the skillet with the potatoes and onion. Cook for another 3-5 minutes. The potatoes should be getting soft by now. Chop up the garlic and jalapeno into small pieces and throw those in next. When you can start to smell the garlic, add the remaining spices, salt, lime juice, and beans. Stir that shit around. Now add a cup of the red sauce, stir, and taste that shit. You can add more garlic, sauce, or whateverthefuck you think it needs. Turn off the heat.

Now your big ass pot of water should be boiling. Add the salt and slowly stir in the cornmeal. Bring the heat down low so that you get a bubble coming up only once and awhile. Stir it every couple of minutes until the mixture is nice and thick, about 15-20 minutes. If it starts getting too thick but it isn’t done, just add a little more water and keep cooking. Then add the garlic powder and oil right before that polenta is done cooking. Turn off the heat.

Grab a baking dish (9”x13” or something close to that is fine) and lightly oil that fucker down so nothing will stick. Pour in about 2 ½ cups of the cooked polenta and spread that shit out as even as you can. Next, pile in the bean and potato filling but leave about a half inch free around the sides of the polenta. Pour a little more of the red sauce over the filling and cover all of that with the rest of the polenta. Cover the container with foil and bake for 20 minutes so that it all comes together like a savory tamale breakfast cake thing. Dope shit, right? Let it rest for about 5-10 minutes before cutting into it. Drizzle with the remaining red sauce and serve with avocado, cilantro, more jalapeños, salsa, tequila, whateverthefuck you are in to.

I know some of you might be looking at these directions thinkin WHOA THAT LOOKS COMPLICATED AS FUCK. Calm. Your. Shit. This is an easy dish that you can even bake the night before and just warm it up before brunch the next day. Nobody will know the goddamn difference.

Serves 6-8 people ready to brunch their asses off

We made this special for our friends over at ASOS. Be sure to check their shit out.

I want to marry whoever runs this shit. guy, girl, astral projection… whatever.

shionaru:

hugmilk:

OK GUYS I’M DOING A GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!! I’M GIVING AWAY THIS AWESOME ATTACK ON TITAN BAG

RULES :

Like and Reblog as may times as you want

No giveaway blogs please(i will check)

You dont have to be following me but if you do that would be real rad

You must be comfortable with giving me your address to send gift


Giveaway ends 10/15/13 
(american date)

HAVE FUN :3

EDIT: I’M WILLING TO SHIP OVERSEAS

hey guys i know this giveaway is supposed to end at midnight but i’m extending it. The new date is 10/18/13 (american date). I’m extremely busy this week so i will not be able to pick a winner until friday. Sorry for the inconvenience.

an emotion appears!

I need someone I can say, “I love you” to every day.